Welcome to the witching hours, the time each day when some mysterious and malevolent spell is cast on the entire family. The hours between 3:00pm and 9:00pm.
The younger children are hungry and demanding. School children have endured hours of boredom and sitting restlessly still and desire playtime. Instead they face hours of homework and activities. They enter, plopping backpacks, shoes, coats, and lunch bags on the nearest flat surface.
Everyone is stressed. Mom wants partnership. She needs Dad engaged entertaining children, helping tidy up, supervising homework, and wants to feel like she is not alone. She wants time to relax without meeting everyone’s needs but her own. Dad wants some good food and to relax and not worry about anything. He sits down in front of the TV or the computer to escape. The children want comfort food (not what is prepared, of course) and to have fun. No one wants to deal with stress.
Instead it plays out more like a war zone. The children bicker and fuss. Mom in exasperation asks dad to engage. He bellows at the children to behave and obey their mother. They burst into tears, Mom slams the plates on the table and dashes from the room. Dad sits, perplexed, wondering why she can’t manage something so simple as getting dinner on the table, a tidy house, and happy children. He feels guilty because he has no idea how to help or to fix the problem, even though his mind says he should be the solution finder. Mom feels alone, unsupported, and frustrated. The children feel they are to blame and can’t do anything right. By bedtime the whole family is emotionally and physically exhausted. Yes, beware the witching hours.
Is there a magic fairy dust or a twitch of the nose to restore harmony and order? I haven’t discovered one yet. I am still a time and order wizard in training. My children, who are older teens now, still deposit trails of backpacks. Dinner is often canned chili with tortilla chips and lettuce (to count as a vegetable). The teens work or participate in multiple activities. And homework continues to cast its spell over our evenings.
After watching War Room, a movie about prayer, I started wondering how prayer could change the witching hours. In the War Room, a woman has a closet she reserves just for going to battle in prayer. She recognizes the devil in family quarrels, and pours her heart out many times during the day in behalf of her family. I agree that the absolute, most powerful tool you can use is prayer.
What if, when dad came home he said a prayer before coming in? What if mom had a personal prayer before starting into the family wizardry? What if she gathered everyone for a snack and a prayer before homework and activities? What if the entire family gathered for prayer before dinner? We under estimate and under use the power of prayer. That one action can break the curse and restore peace.
I wanted to better understand the power of prayer. So, I started a study of prayer. I wanted to know what being a prayer warrior looked like. Some principles I learned are:
- Find a quiet place free from distractions- a closet, a mountain, a place away.
- Avoid repetition.
- Pray sincerely. Pray with your whole heart.
- Pray to forgive and be forgiven.
- Pray for what you need.
- Express true gratitude.
- Pray for God’s will to be done, instead of our own.
- Pray to avoid temptation and the influence of the adversary. (This can include fear, doubt, despair, depression, anger, bitterness, negative thoughts, and more).
- Pray with fasting.
- GI’ve yourself plenty of time to pray. Spend an hour, several hours, or even days praying as the situation requires. Allow time for expression and for answers.
- Pray believing. Pray with complete faith. Doubt not. Fear not.
- Pray specifically for others. Pray for family members, neighbors, community, the nation, the military, the government.
- Lift up your VOICE. Pray out loud when you can.
- Pray to understand. Pray to understand others (spouse, children, coworkers and others). Pray to understand the mysteries of God.
- Pray for healing and wholeness.
- Pray to be an instrument in God’s hands
How do I know these prayers are answered? When I feel peace. When the witching hours are more calm? When I understand my family more. When I gain new insights. When I have fewer negative thoughts. When opportunities come to me? When even subtle changes happen in my family?
Here are a few additional actions that can break the witching hours curse:
Pay attention to the needs of each person. For example, if my husband is available, he often helps supervise homework or helps clean the kitchen after dinner. He knows that I need partnership. So, I also try to allow him to have a few minutes to wind down before dinner.
A snack after school helps calm and re-energize stressed children. Find a way for each person to have important quiet time. It usually can only be a few minutes to half an hour. But those few minutes help de-stress.
Choose to only discuss positive topics around dinner time. No grades, finances, no criticism. Ask and LISTEN to know what is really going on with each person.
Yes, beware the witching hours. Let prayer and love cast their own magic spell. Break the evil curse placed on this precious family time. Let’s change the witching hours to happily ever after, or at least more peaceful chaos.