Whenever I am up early enough in the morning (between 5 and 6 am) I spend the bulk of this time in prayer and meditation and perhaps writing in my journal. I’ve learned to prioritize this time. It feeds me and prepares me for the day in a way that is worth the early hour and the extra effort. This morning, I closed my eyes and decided to visualize what it would be like to talk with God. What would He look like and how he would be.
There are times that I feel I get too casual in prayer or too thoughtless. By this I mean that I can address God and rush on to the things on my mind without really feeling a connection form. There are times that I fail to pause and really consider who I am addressing and why. This rushing keeps my experience in prayer shallow.
I believe I saw the face of God this morning and it looked exactly like my neighbor’s.
So, this morning, eyes closed, I worked to focus my mind on this goal of thinking deeply about God before I addressed Him. I would like to share some of these personal thoughts and feelings, trusting that those who read this will respect my openness.
First, I spent probably 15 minutes chasing my thoughts back to prayer. My mind wandered to all sorts of random thoughts. I wish I could say this is rare, but it is common for me. When I recognized my wanderings and remembered my intention, I resolutely refocused my mind and asked myself how I could think of God before I called His name.
In that moment, I saw a tree at the top of a grassy hill some distance away. This was not a vision, but rather the image that my mind settled on, influenced by the Spirit of God or not. I saw a man in a white robe sitting on the ground beneath the tree. I knew it had to be God waiting for me and I realized that my walk up that gentle rise would be my time to prepare.
As i began walking up the hill it grew suddenly very steep and I found myself struggling to reach the summit where the tree stood. As I struggled, I felt a gentle presence that called to me, reminding me that there was no need to struggle. I realized that if I continued to struggle, the summit would stay forever beyond my reach. As I let myself relax I was instantly back on the gentle slope now making good progress toward the figure in white.
As I neared Him, He rose effortlessly and welcomed me with a great hug and then pulled back so that I could see His face and eyes. His face and eyes were familiar. I was somewhat surprised and then pleased as I realized that His face and especially His eyes belonged to a member of my ward with whom I had spoken recently. His eyes were soft and if eyes can smile, His were smiling. Shining is perhaps a better way of describing the eyes before me.
His back was still to the tree as He turned me to face the way I had just come. He motioned for me to sit down with him. We did so and I realized He was happy and I was happy. I understood that God is serious about us serving others and that He does take it very personally. I believe I saw the face of God this morning and it looked exactly like my neighbor’s.
I have much more to ponder.